*Disclaimer* I know that this is a reality tv show and that scenes are made up for entertainment. I choose to watch it as though it is real. So apologies in advance!

I hope you enjoy these thoughts!

  1. Beautiful recap of all the drama from the last season
  2. A quick reminder that Steph was bullied all last series
  3. I hope Louise and Alik make it!
  4. Will we get to see more of Frankie smiling in this series?
  5. Well she’s dating Jamie, so probably not …
  6. I want a boat
  7. That is my only goal in life, own a boat
  8. Olivia looks like Hollywood chic
  9. Binky strutting that stuff getting off a helicopter
  10. And I love her shoes
  11. I love Mark-Francis and the stuff he comes out with!
  12. Jess has boobs!
  13. “French sausage” all class from the heir to the Bentley fortune
  14. “Singleton” oh no!
  15. Is it officially over?!
  16. Louise is like the least fun sister ever!
  17. Ooh so there is still a chance for them? Yay!
  18. Does Jamie only know like those two phrases in French?
  19. It’s a bit sad that literally no-one has any hope for Jamie to not cheat on Frankie
  20. For a minute I thought Victoria was in a wedding dress!
  21. Victoria’s skin looks flawless – I want whatever she’s having!
  22. It’s nice to see happy Binky again – she was missing a lot last series
  23. All of their skins are flawless
  24. This isn’t fair!
  25. So is that no Lucy Watson this holiday series then?
  26. Boulle!
  27. Jamie, that’s my reaction too!
  28. My joint 3rd favourite ginger man!
  29. Boulle, you need to stay – you can’t show up for five minute and have that be it!
  30. Yes! He’s staying!
  31. Will he be back for good?!
  32. I don’t think they are actually in the South of France – that’s got to be all green screen
  33. Victoria has got her eyes on her inheritance
  34. How come Toff and Jess aren’t living together?
  35. “Apologising is such a bore” can’t you just imagine Mark-Francis saying that to his mother/nanny/maid when he was a child?
  36. You’re right Steph. Drunk shopping is the best shopping
  37. Oh is Ollie trying to model again?
  38. Oh it’s a dating app
  39. Apparently “I’m a member of a gym” = I’m a gym go-er
  40. Binky seems more excited about Ollie going on a dating app than Ollie is
  41. Welcome to my world Olivia, at least you’re beautiful
  42. I think Olivia might have actually meant she wants a toy, Tiff ….
  43. Were they playing marbles?
  44. Good news lovers of the gingers, the Boulle is single
  45. I feel like Alex is projecting his ‘itch’ on to Jamie
  46. Jamie, are you really going out on a 7% battery?
  47. I feel like this is going to bite him in the ass in the near future.
  48. Louise’s face was mine when I realised what was happening with Ollie and the dating app
  49. I love their reaction to – what I am assuming is – a dick pic! It’s mine too
  50. Didn’t Tiff and Toff have a Tiff at some point in the last episode? So they’ve made up now?
  51. There’s a lot of mistrust going on between Tiff and Steph
  52. So Sam and Tiff’s relationship reminds Jamie of his parents on holiday
  53. Should being in a relationship feel like a job?
  54. Then again, my last ‘relationship’ felt like a full blown, draining, soul sucking career at one point
  55. Why is Jamie being so negative about everything?
  56. How many shots did it take for Jamie to get that ball spinny thing right?
  57. Oh Jamie is like the embarrassing aunt!
  58. I am determined to set you up so you’re not on your own
  59. “I know how to order pastries” One line that will always come in handy
  60. I thought he said arms too Ollie
  61. And of course he’s straight
  62. Oh Ollie!
  63. I would hope that for the amount that has been spent on their education she should really know more than “Merci beaucoup”
  64. Yeah but where would the tension be if there was “common courtesy”, Victoria?
  65. There’s just so much misreading of body signals – it’s painful!
  66. Boulle flipping, shirtless, with a ball … Loving it!
  67. I feel so awkward for Louise right now!
  68. I love the contrast in the girls clothes – 3 of them wearing all white and then Steph and Victoria wearing dark clothes
  69. Not sure whether that was deliberate or not though
  70. Victoria just sat at the back looking all fabulous throughout that exchange
  71. She totally stole the scene out from under them!
  72. What is with the little sailor caps?
  73. Have I mentioned how much I want a boat?!
  74. English lesson on Etymology from Boulle there!
  75. I’d accept that as a chat up line to be honest
  76. I feel like there is chemistry between Matt and Ollie …
  77. Why does Olivia seem surprised when answering her phone? Has she never heard of caller ID?
  78. I wasn’t expecting Frankie to appear so early, thought she’d appear the end of the next episode – give Jamie time to really screw up!
  79. Sam should not be allowed to dance
  80. I feel like Ollie is not as in to this whole dating thing as he made out originally
  81. Tiff should know by now that Sam is really not very good with the emotional stuff
  82. Tiff has never looked more like her sister than when she was just talking to Steph
  83. I seriously love that dress that Binky’s wearing
  84. Binky and Jess acting like proud parents who have managed to successfully set their family members up
  85. Why does Ollie and this other guy seem surprised that they’re single?
  86. “Err yeah, actually, I am”
  87. Is that guy offering to teach Ollie in the ways of love?
  88. Oh Olivia, I was going to tell you to stay away from my Boulle – he’s always turned by a pretty face, but then you come out with “I’m thick as shit by the way” and suddenly I think you deserve him.
  89. I love how much he chatters on when he’s nervous around pretty ladies – it’s so cute!
  90. I need to get me one of them!
  91. It amazes me that these people have probably been around boats and stuff all their lives but they don’t know the proper names of the parts of the boats.
  92. “What are you doing in your life?” … Well that’s a personal question for someone you’ve just met
  93. Don’t appreciate his honesty Louise, he’s just trying to get in your pants!
  94. Oh Jamie, you couldn’t even last one damn episode – really?!
  95. I can’t get over how much Frankie looks like my friend from uni


Join me next week – where it looks like it all kicks off! And I might be rethinking my whole Olivia might deserve Boulle thought.