So Toff’s upset that Francis is sleeping with her but seems to be actually taking Olivia Bentley out on dates when Olivia is off boinking Alex Mytton. Mytton has announced that he and Nicola have split up. Frankie has told everyone (not Jamie) that Mytton hit on her – obviously Sam found out and made sure Jamie knew (after promising Tiff that he wouldn’t tell anyone).

Let’s see what’s happening with the beautiful people of Chelsea, in France, this week:

  1. I’d forgotten about Ollie and the guy on the boat
  2. Thank God for recaps
  3. Jesus, who has Francis been sleeping with now?
  4. “Fashion inspiration”?!
  5. I would stay away from the Union Jack stuff though if I were you though Ollie
  6. You’re going fishing on a date? Interesting
  7. Does Jess have a top on underneath that dungaree?
  8. I think Francis is just enjoying having all the attention for the first time.
  9. Francie, stop that stupid America accent. Once was funny, you don’t need to do it twice!
  10. Oh Jamie is really upset about this Mytton thing
  11. Where the hell has “Did they kiss?” come from? That’s the first time that’s been mentioned, right?
  12. Bless Binky, she should stop trying to talk French
  13. I’m sure this personal trainer is loving being described as ‘sensitive’
  14. Why is Mytton so not abashed at his behaviour?
  15. Surely he should be feeling some sort of guilt?
  16. I don’t like serious Jamie, it’s a bit freaky
  17. I think Frankie is denying this situation too much
  18. And I don’t think she should keep throwing Jamie’s behaviour in his face
  19. But, I’ve never had a successful relationship, so what do I know?
  20. I love that bikini, but the tan lines would be insane
  21. “I was looking for Sam” … with a bottle of wine and glasses?
  22. That was smooth
  23. If the cork’s already out the bottle though – doesn’t that mean it was already open?
  24. Are they organising another date?
  25. Is there a game called cock and ball?
  26. I was thinking that too Olivia, it might be best if people don’t know – otherwise you’ll get attacked by Toff and Jess again
  27. Steph’s left? I like Steph
  28. Perhaps it was to get stuff done for The Hills, it was the ten year anniversary for that recently, wasn’t it?
  29. “Just had a taste of his own medicine”
  31. So was it Ollie’s idea to go fishing for a first date?
  32. Very romantic
  33. Ooh bubbles! I love bubbles!
  34. Did they just smash a champagne flute?
  35. Liar Ollie, you took Chloe fishing in series two of Made in Chelsea
  36. This guy’s thinking long term Ollie!
  37. They keep giving sly looks to one another
  38. It’s so cute
  39. It’s ok Jamie, they’re just trying to get their stories straight
  40. “You’ve done all this shit to me …” Are we just going to hear Frankie say this crap on repeat for the next couple of weeks
  41. Seriously Jamie, just dump her if she’s going to be this immature
  42. She either made the decision to forgive you and move on with you or she didn’t
  43. At the moment it sounds like she didn’t
  44. You feel like you’re actually French?
  45. Because you bought pastries?!
  46. You kind of lack the elegance of the French I’m afraid Toff
  47. You’re right Jess, they should
  48. I feel like everyone in this scenario is absolutely blind
  49. Smooth Francis
  50. Just don’t be the cringey old man
  51. I like that he calls her Georgia and not Toff
  52. Oh good God, I’m dying a little inside at how cringe worthy that phone call was
  53. But also because I know full well that me and my friends would be like this too, to be honest.
  54. Oh Olivia doesn’t look too thrilled.
  55. I don’t know why they’re all arguing over Francis though – he’s probably going to go back to Africa after this series
  56. Why is Binky so obsessed with the size of Louise’s new ‘boyfriend’?
  57. Wow, yeah he is tall
  58. Ryan looks like a cross between Teddy Dunn and Andy Jordan
  59. So they’re all official and stuff?
  60. The last episode of the last series of Made in Chelsea, Louise invited Alik to join them in France, didn’t she?
  61. I think it would be easier if the escargot was shell-less to be honest
  62. I’d forget what they were
  63. “Gold is very fulfilling” what a beautiful sentiment Francis
  64. “Gotten to know you in the biblical sense” awkward
  65. Stop bringing Olivia up with Toff
  66. Thank you Francis! That’s exactly what I’ve just said in point 55!
  67. I’m not so sure that you are both on the same page though to be honest
  68. Toff, if you don’t want him hanging out with other girls whilst you’re sleeping with him. Get in a relationship with him before you sleep with him
  69. That was a beautiful sneeze Sam
  70. Frankie looks like the cat that’s got the cream
  71. But at the same time just looks so uncomfortable with Frankie
  72. There’s been a lot of biblical references in this episode
  73. “Why do you keep asking me for a kiss?!” how about because he’s supposed to be your boyfriend and he wants to show you affection
  74. Jesus Christ
  75. How does Louise keep ending up with men that don’t like her partying?
  76. Why would the pool be cold? Aren’t they heated?
  77. Ollie looks so scrawny next to Ryan
  78. I feel sorry for Olivia, she’s trying to do the right thing by Toff but it’s not going to end well
  79. It’s because he’s ginger Tiff, that’s why the girls love him
  80. You’re exactly right Sam, if they both like each other Toff shouldn’t be an issue
  81. I feel like Toff would bore Francis after a while though
  82. I think Olivia would have more to offer him intellectually than Toff would
  83. Not that I think Toff is dim (she actually reminds me a lot of myself)
  84. I always love the music in Made in Chelsea
  85. I love how Binky and Mytton have moved on enough now in order to celebrate their birthdays together
  86. Two years ago she sent him packing from New York
  87. Mytton seems to be actually growing up a bit now and thinking about the repercussions of his actions (even if it is after he’s acted)
  88. Ollie, sweetheart, you really should think about what you say before you say it
  89. Yay! They like each other
  90. I’m so happy for Ollie, it’s taken for ages!
  91. Oh it’s nice to know Sam and Tiff are at a stage now where there can joke about cheating on each other
  92. Sam and Tiff are perfect for each other because they’re just massive gossips
  93. I would never be able to tell them anything through fear of the rest of the world finding out
  94. Poor Francis, having to choose between two incredibly beautiful girls
  95. Jamie! What on earth is happening with that shirt?
  96. So by “head home” does Mytton mean England, or does he mean the villa they’re all sharing?
  97. Toff’s dress is beautiful
  98. I think Toff has taken some of this way out of context
  99. This is not going to go at all well
  100. Francis fishing is one of the most awkward things I’ve heard
  101. Just tell Olivia you like her Francis
  102. She did not take that from your conversation. You might need to talk to Toff about that Francis.

So Alik is making an appearance next week – finally. Hang on, he bought her a £40k ring?! And loads of stuff with Francis, Toff and Olivia. Really looks like all sorts of drama is going down on the next episode….